Silk
by Have-A-Laugh
Summary: Its really hard to train when you are distracted and Raphael really doesn't want to be distracted, at least not like this. Fluff, mild language. (2/3 parts complete)
1. Chapter 1: It Was Too Easy

She had landed a solid punch against him. Square in the jaw and he had stumbled even. Raphael was impressed, proud even! Why proud? Maybe not proud but he felt something. She has trained for a little over a year and despite what she lacked in physical training she was surprisingly well versed in Ninjutsu. Granted he wasn't going all out and she had caught him off guard, but still. Where she hit him smarted but was dulled by a welling feeling in his chest and a terrifying thought crossing his mind.

"Uh- Raph? Are… You okay?" April kept her guard up but she glanced away nervously "I didn't hit you that hard did I?"

"What?" Raphael snapped back to reality, they were still in training, right. Onward with training "Don't get ahead of yourself, it was a lucky shot."

He lowered center of gravity and widened his stance, see he was fine. April had a half smile creep across her face and captivating gleam in her eye. Wait, that wasn't right, she was like his kid sister or something. Yeah, she was pretty and what not, but you know you can think someone is pretty without, you know, liking them. When did _liking_ April become a thing for Raph. That gushy nonsense was up Donnie's avenue. April saw the turtle hesitate and tried to land another punch, this time he dodged and was about to do a leg sweep when April kneed him in the gut. Raph sputtered, he was caught again.

"Okay, is something wrong?" April said as she jumped back expecting a counter move but the red clad turtle was still doubled over "Are you even trying, or have I really just gotten better?"

Raphael couldn't even utter a snarky reply. Why was she so _distracting?_ He cursed under his breath. April snickered. He glared at her. What was he doing? Letting his feelings get the better of him.

Donatello is the one who has a crush on April, not him.

Raphael put up his fists and shook he head.

Casey is the one who has a crush on April, not him.

The two started sparing again but Raphael's thoughts were slowing him down. Little memories and emotions floated through the air like silk of a spider's web. One wasn't a problem but together they were powerful. That's what this was. Liking April was a web he didn't want to get tangled in, yet as he struggled he felt like he was getting caught in more of those damn threads. April was taunting him a bit. No more than their usual banter but, April only spoke like this with him. Somehow that held more meaning now, did it mean something? He felt embarrassed when she picked on his clumsiness, not because it was embarrassed that he was slow, everyone has their off day, but that _she_ had noticed he was off his game.

April put her arms down "This is ridiculous! You aren't even trying!"

Raph just stared at her, he had gotten lost in another train of thought.

"I mean, the first hit was impressive, a lucky shot, but I've got you five times now!" April threw up her hands "You didn't even react for the last three. Raphael I mean- Michy has a longer attention span than you do right now!"

"I'm distracted-"

"_I know_" April turned her back to him.

"This is stupid."

"_It is stupid,_" April sighed, she still was facing away "If you don't want to train anymore just say so."

She thought he was doing so poorly that he didn't want to train, that he wanted to pass up a good sparring match?

Oh no, that ticked him off just enough "Who said we were done?"

She had ignored two major rules of fighting, never drop your guard and never turn your back to the enemy. Raph in the blink of an eye grabbed her arm while simultaneously kicking her feet out from underneath her. April yelped and smacked the mats. Raph was on top of her and pinned her to the mat.

He sat on her stomach and hips "Ha! Never drop your guard. The fights not over until it's over."

"That was cheap!" April swung futilely at him but he just laughed.

"You're not even _trying_~" Raphael teased her as he batted her punches away "I mean, have you gotten worse or something? I think you are about, let's see, _fifteen years_ behind me or so."

"Sometimes, I hate you." April tried punching his thighs but Raphael was unfazed by her attempts.

"I know girly." Raph settled more of his weight into her gut and April groaned under the new pressure.

"You suck!" April kind of laughed "You weigh a ton. Dude, lay off the pizza!"

"I see your wit is as impressive as your fighting skills." Raphael smiled down at the red head who tried swiping at him again. He took her arm and put her in an arm bar "Ah ha! You make this too easy."

April groaned and Raphael realized that the arm bar required him to be chest to chest with April O'Neil so he could pin her other arm. Not really a problem usually. Keyword, usually. Being chest to chest meant he was now face to face, nose to nose and a little too close. He got a good look at the sheen of sweat from their workout, he was aware of her breathe on his face and the determined glare in her eyes. Raphael suddenly felt awkward as the back of his next prickled.

"Um-" Raphael looked away.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Donatello's shrill panic shattered the scene.

"Wait!" Raphael loosened up his grip on April as he focused on his brother. Raphael couldn't help but feel like he was caught doing something worse "I can't- holy shell!"

April cried out in triumph when she thrust her hips up and threw Raphael forward forcing him to catch himself and losing his control of the fight. April slipped out from under him just as Donni smacked him across his face with his staff.

"I freaking swear-" Raph felt rage bubbling just below the surface of his skin "I WILL END YOU!"

Raph jumped up and lunged at his brother who squeaked in fear.

"Are we done here?" April asked but Raph was too busy wailing on his poor brother to respond.

April smiled and left the boys to hash out their differences when Raph was sure she was gone he slowed to a pause.

Donatello wiped his nose, it was bleeding a little "I'm serious, what the heck were you and April doing?"

"Can you stop be a jealous little prick for five seconds?" Raph muttered under his breath, shaking not entirely from anger.

"What?" Donnie blinked confused.

"How about you stop acting like you have exclusive property rights to April!" Raphael shouted at his brother, he was angry but this went deeper than the usual spikes in his temper.

"Well- I. Don't…" Donnie didn't actually know how to counter his brother's odd behavior when it clicked "Y-you really- what I- _Do you have a crush on April?_"

Raph's mouth hung open, partially because of the look of broken trust in Donnie's eyes and how his brother spoke like he was accusing him of something heinous but partially because Raph realized it was kind of true. He had the smallest crush on April O'Neil and he didn't like it.

"No- Are you crazy?! That's stupid." Raphael jumped up "You're stupid. _I_ have a crush on _April_? Pshh! What?"

"You… have a crush on-" Donatello glared viciously at Raphael grabbing his staff what was just a few feet away.

_Did he have to be so loud?_ Raph bit his lip.

"Of all the people!" Donatello looked down as he twisted his staff in his hands "YOU!"

Raphael slammed him against the wall and hissed "Shut up before I break your shell!"

"YOU- mmmhhm" Raph slapped a hand over Donnie's angry rebuttal.

"Ugh, okay I don't actually know. I really don't I swear Donni! You've gotta believe me!" Raphael begged.

Donatello looked into the panicked and confused eyes of his brother it was when Raphael saw Donnie look back at him with sympathy that he removed his hand. His brother would understand having a crush despite the odds being against him. Donatello didn't say anything at first just smiling understandingly at his brother.

But of course it flipped back to vibrant rage "I've had a crush on her forever! Are you kidding me!"

Raph slapped his hand firmly over Donnie's mouth once more, simply rolling his eyes.

"Yeah I know." Raphael was recovering from the shock now and it was being replaced by pure brotherly irritation, and a primal urge to tease said brother "Although you are huge wimp. I could probably steal April out from under you in my sleep! Not that she and I be doing much sleeping if that ever happened."

Raph smiled wickedly down at his little brother who thrashed and swore from under his hand. He just laughed at Donatello and let him off the wall but Donatello verbally attacked him. Raphael knew his brother was hopping mad and it was his fault for provoking him but it was just too easy. Leonardo came bursting in, following the sound of Donatello's profuse cursing as he chased Raphael around The Lair.


	2. Chapter 2: Dam Metaphors

"Good morning Raphael." Donatello spoke curtly.

It had been whole week since Donatello spoke to Raphael after their fight. April had scolded both of them for acting like five year olds but she really didn't understand why the brothers were at ends with each other.

"Yeah-" Raph responded. He brushed the whole event off as another one of Donatello's mood swings and smacked the hanging dummy around.

"That's all you've-?" Donatello stopped himself and sighed "Nevermind."

Leo was reading one of Mikey's comics on the couch and he didn't even look up when he spoke "At least you are talking again."

"Yeah, we've got that." Raph said.

"You should apologize." Leo flipped to the next page.

"FOR WHAT?" Raphael snapped and nailed the dummy in the gut with all his strength.

It spun franticly on the chain. The clatter of metal links was the only sound in The Lair.

"First to me, for yelling, and second to Donnie. He told me what you said." Leo's voice was neutral "You know how sensitive he is."

"And how insensitive I am." Raphael mocked Leo than asked. "And so we have to baby him?"

The dummy twisted and spun so Raphael steadied it.

"No, but we just can't be flat out cruel." Leo sharpened his tone "at least when dealing with April!"

"He's gotta learn she isn't interested at some point." His punches were a little more forceful as he focused on a tangible, although artificial, problem.

"And you have to be the messenger?" Leo watched Raph take his anger out on the hanging dummy.

"No one else is stepping up." Raph was terse.

"If he accepts that, will make it easier for you?" Leo asked.

There was nothing harsh in Leo's tone but Raphael felt attacked and spun to face his brother "Easier to do what exactly Leo?"

His brother's eyes widened, he knew he was treading in fragile territory but his posture was otherwise calm "Donnie told me everything."

"Donni is an obsessed," Raph faced the dummy "naïve…"

he punched the dummy.

"Possessive"

Punch

"Diluted"

Punch

"Clingy"

Raphael's fist trembled as held back from throwing another punch. He groaned and rubbed his eyes under his mask.

"Look Raph" Leonardo started.

"I don't want to talk about it Leo." Raphael sighed.

Much to Raphael's surprise (and with a twang of disappointment) Leo returned to reading the comic book. He wasn't going to dwell on this when he had a dummy to punch. He worked on the dummy for longer than he realized, because it was long after Leo's passing comments of "whoa take it easy on the poor guy" had ended that Raph noticed he was alone.

"Raphael, what is wrong?" or so he thought.

"HOLY SHI-iiii…." Raph trailed off when he saw the souring expression on his Sensei's face. He snapped to attention when he at last spoke "Good evening Master Splinter."

"You've been punching this bag for hours. Your brother Leonardo is worried about you." Splinter made a sweeping gesture to the battered practice dummy.

"Of course Leo told Splinter." Raphael muttered under his breath.

"Yes he did." Splinter nodded.

"So I guess you know everything too?" Raphael tested, maybe there were something his Master wasn't aware off and he could escape the impending 'heart to heart'.

"I don't know, tell me what you mean by everything. It's a very vague word." Splinter was hard to read.

"Donnie and I are fighting."

"I could be blind and deaf and on the other side of the world yet even than I would still be able to feel the animosity between you. Also you would have to think me stupid for not noticing the fight you had." Splinter said with the slightest huff of annoyance as he thought back to Donatello swearing to the high seas at his brother "I want to know why you are still holding this against each other."

"Donnie was acting weird again." Raph said briefly.

"And?"

"I teased him."

"And?"

Raph rolled his eyes when Splinter closed his while listening "And I was insensitive."

"Don't roll your eyes at me"

"How'd?" Raph looked at Splinter.

His master tapped his ear and by the corner of his eye.

_Blind and Deaf, fine I get it _Raphael had to consciously try not to roll his eyes a second time.

"And what else?" Splinter asked.

"Nothing." Raphael shrugged.

Splinter paused before saying "We both know that there is more to this than simply brotherly teasing that got out of hand."

"Well clearly since we both know what _it _is, there is no reason to repeat ourselves!" Raph gritted his teeth waiting for a rebuttal.

Instead, they sat in the commons together, the hum of traffic lightly vibrated the air and water flowed heavily somewhere deep in the sewers draining the water from rain earlier that day. The rat actually looked away from Raph and toward the rushing water.

"You know, water is very powerful. Given time, it can cut through anything. Form valleys and move even the toughest of rock. All water does is find the easiest path. Yet, we have learned to dam water, trap it. When it gathers, it forms great lakes." Splinter listened with his eyes closed to the distant roar.

"I know how dams work Sensei." Raph crossed his arms.

"Let me finish." Splinter struck the back of Raphael's head with lighting speed. It was honestly a little frightening. "Yet dams need constant supervision and like all man made things can break. When that happens, the force is unstoppable and destructive."

"I feel like I am supposed to pull a meaning from this." Raphael was done talking but he couldn't flat out say it.

"You should." Splinter put a caring hand on his son's shoulder "Humans can trap water, but that doesn't mean they control it."

"You know the vague wisdom story really isn't clicking with me. Maybe that's the why Leo does it but I'm not Leo!" Raph wanted to recede into his shell _this is so stupid!_

"I'm telling you to stop bottling your emotions and let them flow naturally." Splinter broke, he was irritated.

"I already let my rage flow freely."

"What? That's not what I am talking about Raphael." Splinter took a literal step back from the conversation.

"Then I don't understand." Raphael had found his out.

Splinter took a cleansing breath in and his nose twitched "You have to recognize your feelings my son, or you will drown in them before you even have a chance to realize what is happening."

"Yes Sensei." Raph bowed respectfully, but he wasn't heeding his Master's advice.

And Splinter noticed "Raphael this is a web you don't want to trap yourself in unwittingly."

"Webs? What happened to the water metaphor?" Raphael prodded at the last of Splinter's will to stay in this conversation.

"…"

Nothing, Splinter said nothing, and Raphael bowed once more and asked to be excused to his room. His Master went to meditate and Raphael flopped onto his bed in the dark of his room.

"Ha, _oh the water is too powerful!_... I don't need dam metaphors to tell me anything." Raphael grumbled to himself when his phone buzzed "…Its April."

5:04pm April: _Hey ready for tomorrow? _

Raphael didn't remember planning anything with April. She texted him again.

5:05pm April: _Still sore but ready to go _

She wanted to train with him again. His world shrunk until it was only him and his phone screen. Silver threads winding around and he felt claustrophobic suddenly.He didn't feel like facing her in a fight again so soon.

5:05pm Raph: _Okay what time_

Raph blinked. He didn't just text that to her.

5:06pm April: _After school I'll text you _

5:06pm April: _?_

He could still come up with an excuse, or not respond.

5:07pm Raph: _cool seeya tomorrow_

He had never felt more betrayed by his fingers than he did just then.


End file.
